The Cookie Conspiracy
I love my readers and I love it when they send me posts. I appreciate the tips and suggestions of things that interest them. It really makes my blog the conversation it was always intended to be.
A reader recently shared a post with me about the Girl Scouts. It is a group of which I am somewhat familiar. My official scout record shows I was a decorated scout throughout my childhood. I was a camp counselor, a trainer and even the first my tiny town’s first Gold Award winner. It’s probably more accurate to describe me as an evil-scout on account of in addition to those accolades, I was also an expert at flipping canoes, disappearing in the woods for days at a time and baiting tents for small animals. The post featured a banner that urged the public to boycott the Girl Scouts by refusing to buy cookies. I wondered what my alma mater did to piss someone off. Apparently, the scouts have been charged with being pro-abortion and promiscuity and a call to action was sounded to choke them off.
I appreciate the reader who sent it to me and their passion to urge me to support it, but I’m afraid they are going to be disappointed.
You see, even though I turned to the dark side of scouting as a result of boredom and frustration, I still scouting as a great experience. Even when a plan doesn’t go right, even when girls get stuck with a lame leader (which of course not all of them are but admittedly there is a wuss or two in the bunch), even when the amount of girl drama exceeds the amount of marshmallows, it is still a life lesson in the making.
I assure you my words do not sprout from sentimentality. I may have been a rebel, but I was still a seasoned veteran. I have been on my share of campouts where it rained so bad we had geese swimming through our tents, have set plenty of pizza boxes on fire and cleaned countless latrines. They come from having a first-hand view of the organization and the members that actually keep it alive-something that the author of the boycott campaign is obviously lacking. Scouts don’t have a thing to do with abortion or lifestyle choices some may consider sinful. It’s true, there is no morality badge. Like many who successfully work with girls, those kinds of instructions are seen best left to the front lines. It should also be noted that there has never been an underground brothel fundraiser, opium den or abortion jamboree. In fact, compared to the energy used to attack the scouts, troop meetings seem boring in comparison.
Now that is not to say I do not have problems with the scouts, but my issues are rooted in fact and common sense. I have a huge problem with the fact that the scouts have no policy that forbids those with sexual offenses or criminal backgrounds access to the girls, that they are the last national children’s service organization that does not require background checks and that the state and national administration is not require to lead a troop of their own. I also have a problem with the share troops receive of cookie sales versus the salaries of the highest echelon. No one’s compensation should exceed five-figures when it is derived from cookie sales. If anyone wants to launch a protest about that, count me in.
I know that there are members of the scouting upper elite that envision themselves one of the priesthood and like to celebrate pro-life dogma and other liberal tenants that no doubt offended those calling for protest. I assure you, this like many areas, does not trickle down to the troops. It is a law of nature just like gravity and the wetness of water that it is empirically impossible to get more than three girls to agree on anything. The scouts learned that a long time ago, others should too. So yes, they are probably exposed to the idea but they are also exposed to religion, spirituality, economics, conservation, science, courage, responsibility, independence, and empowerment.
And cookies? They don’t have to sell them. I was rotten at that too.
I’m Jennifer Beck and I’m Jenuinely Jennifer
Writer, Researcher and wicked Brownie.
