The Potty Problem
I love a good coffee shop. In spite of the fact that caffeine and I have had a complicated relationship for years, I love to go explore and sample everyone I see. I love the variety, the unique atmosphere-and especially the brews. I also enjoy the personality of little coffee houses. It is like being invited into a new friend’s kitchen each and every time.
What I don’t like is having to use unisex bathrooms.
It has been a growing trend over the last few years and has sadly engrained itself into my favorite hangout as well as diners, shops and boutiques all throughout my travels-one I admit makes me cringe. I dread the idea of going up to the facilities and noticing the Unisex sign on the door. It always makes me pause and reconsider my decision. Who was in here last? Do I really have to pee that bad? Should I just wait until I make it to my destination?
Now before the hate mail comes rolling in, (which, according to Toil and Trouble Media policy must be in the form of a knock-knock joke!) understand that my feelings have nothing to do with intolerance or bigotry. I have nothing but love and respect for my transgender brothers and sisters and happily share the bathroom with them anytime anywhere.
My issue is with our male brethren. Namely, with their…aim.
It may not be politically correct, but sometimes conventional wisdom has it right. Men and women simply shouldn’t share a restroom. It’s not that I’m necessarily worried about being raped. I’m not worried about up-skirt photos. It’s the idea of having to go in a stall covered in a stranger’s urine. It’s gross, and for a woman whose hovering abilities are limited by her heels, it’s a real concern.
Everyone knows this is true. I cannot understand why no one thought about it before they started such a disgusting practice. After traveling on the road for years as a child, when bathroom breaks were few and gender-segregated ones rare, I can personally attest that the condition of the men’s room at your average gas station being a close second to one in hell is no urban legend. Those things repel rats-do you know how many body fluids it takes to do that? They are also the last place anyone will ever slip and fall. Not only is the floor of those permanently sticky, but the average person would be more likely to levitate as opposed to striking that floor. And God help you if you do make contact! In the days before antibacterial soap, you were likely to be wearing a stain on your skin until you reach the hotel!
Men just don’t seem to understand the function and the purpose of the toilet. It is a household receptacle-not a target. The idea is to make sure your body fluids make it INSIDE the bowl, not around it, over it, or in its general direction. Toilets also work better when they are flushed-preferably after one successfully makes a deposit. And innovation has come far in the field of toilet technology. The lids come with hinges so they can be raised and lowered.
I wish more people would relax about whether or not the person in the stall next to them was originally a Brian or a Brenda and instead focus on issues we can all agree on: the idea that NO ONE likes to sit in a pool of a stranger’s urine, smearing is not an acceptable cleaning technique and that one cannot rely upon bathroom pixies to pick up after them.
And as far as my fabulous friends on the other side of the restroom rainbow? You are welcome any time!
I’m Jennifer Beck and I’m Jenuinely Jennifer.
Writer, Researcher and hover-er!
