Feminine Independence
My afterlife has been an empowering journey. Since Erin and I left and ventured out on our own, we have found the courage and strength to do so much we never thought possible. “Who needs a man?” became a mantra of ours and a reoccurring theme in the Little Yellow House.
But I am a realist. I cannot do it all on my own. There is one thing I will never be able to do that permanently ties me to the opposite sex.
Opening jars and bottles.
It’s embarrassing, but I just can’t do it. My hands and fingers are very dexterous but they aren’t very forceful. They are certainly not talons. Instead of manipulating the lid, my hand ends up sliding around-and not in a good way.
And let’s face it, the jar and bottle industry is completely male-dominated! Jars are designed for man hands! There is a reason cosmetics come with lids that pull off or only slightly unscrew, how else are we supposed to open them with fingernails? Yes, I am deliberately going to ignore nail polish bottles-you know those are a man-vention!
I know all the tricks, running the container under hot water, tapping the opening on a counter, popping the bottom. I’m sure there is a very good reason to suggest that as a strategy, even if it escapes me. Popping the bottom always seemed to me a bit more punitive than helpful. What kind of society defers to corporal punishment to resolve a problem like that?
To that end, Dave has become my designated opener. He has adapted to his role well, saying nothing when I hand him a jar-even when he is in his office, watching TV or in the shower. I have even violated the man while he was on the toilet, not like Date Number 3 and a half but by storm trooping in with a jar demanding his services at once. He merely shook his head and complied, can you believe it? And he’s all mine!
So I’ll stick with conquering my career, building my side gigs and being the best high-heeled Bob Villa I can. I’ll outsource opening stuff to my guy.
I’m Jennifer Beck and I’m Jenuinely Jennifer.
Writer, Researcher and farmer!
